Hello Summer.

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Hello summer and thank you for making me realize just how much I HATE my body! Because of you I now have to think about fitting my large thighs and ass into a bathing suit. Oh and let us not forget—the belly!!!  I eye the bathing suit section at Target every time I walk by, too disgusted to stop and even think about the possibility.

 Summer because of you I now have one more thing  to think about—one more reason to watch my calories, give up the junk food,  exercise and cut back on the drinking Ok, wait let’s just be real for a minute– those last two aren’t going to happen.

Perhaps I will stick to the short running shorts and tank top—yeah, I’m comfortable in that. Granted, it’s not the cutest get up, but it sure does hide the spots that need to be hid on this momma body. Plus, I’ve never really been one to show much skin anyway. Now,  if I had some size D boobs I’m just warning you—it’d be a different story!.  I’m actually starting to think that the current get up is more flattering and more me. Maybe I’ll let it stay.

 I guess I should be honest with myself;  I’m going to  continue to drink wine, beer and coffee with large amoutns of sugar in it  and bitch every time I walk pass a bath suit—it’s easier that way and I’m all about easy.

 For you momma’s that put your cute little momma body into a bathing suit, I salute you and maybe with enough wine I might even join you, but as it’s looking right now—it’ll have to be 3 bottles later. Till then cheers and happy summer!

Rules to play dates

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I would assume that the first and most important rule to a play date is not to forget you planed it. Well, I did. But wait, it gets better- the play date was at my house!!!   We originally had the date set for the beginning of May.   One of the moms had to cancel, no big deal we all decided just to move it to a date when we could all make it.     However, we rescheduled the date (almost 2 weeks ago) and at the time none of us realized the reschedule  was Memorial Day weekend. You’re beginning to see the problem right?

So, Sunday afternoon around 2pm Eric comes into our bedroom where Max and I are laying watching cartoons ( me being hopeful that a nap was in my near future) with a strange look on his face he says, You have a friend here.   What?  I asked.  I have no friends, get rid of them.    No Kasey it’s Noah’s mom ( I hear Noah screaming in the background) What?!?   I make my way to the living room to see Noah’s mom holding a bottle of wine, flowers and a look of, Oh Shit!  Did we cancel?  Where is everyone else she asked.    My mind flashed back to almost 3 weeks ago when we all stood in the day-care parking lot and rescheduled.  Me: No we didn’t cancel.  NM: oh my God where you sleeping?   ME: Sleeping? Me? In this house? You’ve got to be kidding.   I instantly started apologizing—oh my God we had a play date and yup, I forgot all about it—it’s all I could get out of my mouth.    I insisted she stay…regardless if I wanted her to or not, it was the right thing to do.  By this time I had no choice in the matter anyway, the boys had already met in the hall and were in the process of  what sounded to be renovating Max’s bedroom. I took the bottle of wine from her hand–might as well get this going..she agreed.—-Awkard!!!!!!

The boys were in constant competition and fighting with each other the entire time. It was a disaster, neither one had taken a nap and it was starting to show.  I wanted to scream—I took a huge gulp of wine.   I think she could feel my tension. It wasn’t her fault. It was mine, but to my defense dammit  I wasn’t the only one that forgot about the stupid  play date—the other mom didn’t show either; but I assume it’s on a different level when the host forgets about hosting. Oh well, I guess there are worse things in life!

Note to self; Never plan play dates to far in advance and always, always have a supply of Xanax on hand.

Here’s Max working the BBQ pit after a swim in the pool.

one of those weeks.

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Feeling a little down this morning. Not sure why- I guess it happens from time to time, especially if you struggle with depression. It’s been a terribly long week . I’m more than ready for it to be over with.  With a  boss on maternity leave and project managers that have their head up their ass you can imagine that,  I”m not much of a friendly character. Thursday I discovered a nail in my tire–Friday drove all the way to work only to realize I had left my laptop at home..yeah, I had to turn around  and go get it.  Needless to say I was looking forward to leaving work early on Friday,  but it was also met with the feeling of WAIT, if I leave work early that means I start the home routine early which means I have to start playing mom at 3pm instead of 5–yeah, that’s where I’m at.  Despite that little devil on my shoulder telling me work is more peaceful than home, I started playing mom at 3.

Friday morning I walked pass the bathroom to find max sitting on the potty  tee teeing. He’s so grown. normally he would scream momma the tee tee coming-but I guess there’s no need anymore. he’s a freaking genius. last night as I was vacuuming he went and got this toy dirt devil vacuum (from toys’ r us) have you seen those things? they actually pick up! once we were done i told him we did an awesome job and asked for a high-five. he told me, no momma like this and gave me daps?? what? were the hell did that come from–are we too grown at the age of 3 for high fives? Lord, all this is going by way to quickly, I realized this the other night as we were laying in bed watching cartoons. He was caught up in bubble guppies and I was caught in up reading blogs. I glanced over at him and was instantly hit with the warm feeling of love. I realized I was wasting precious moments bonding moments- closed the lap top and snuggled up to him. He looked at me and laughed.

 So I told you about my washer screwing me over right?  Well in case I didn’t here’s the low down. Sunday I decided I would act like  ”real” wife and do a load of laundry–noitice I said A LOAD because Mr. Officer had already taken care of  the rest. I put the clothes in the washer, adjusted the setting, put in the soap, closed the top and went back to the living room. 15 mins later (because I swear I have an addiction to food) I entered the kitchen for a snack, I also entered  2 inches of water!!!!! My kitchen had turned into a freaking kiddy pool!!!!!!!  Ok, now you  know the drill–call the repair man, they order the part and say it will be here in two days which really turns into the following week, they finally make it out and if they didn’t order the wrong part and by the grace of god things are back in working order  you had over a check that is equal to your bi-weekly pay. Awesome…by the way, our part is supposed to come in today(that was Friday—yeah, we’ll see about that. Lucky for us all the clothes were washed and my parents live 30 mins away if it isn’t fixed before things start piling up again.

 Max was excited as he stood at the entrance of the kitchen–he was pleased with the installation of an indoor kiddie pool.

  Update: written Friday afternoon, after the repair man left)

The repair man came with the part for the washing machine and you know what???? It was the wrong fucking part!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What. did. I. say!!!!!

momma’s man.

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Coming up very soon someone pretty important to me will be celebrating a birthday.

 Praise God for another year of healthy bliss for Mr. Officer (as the bloggin momma’s know him) on June 1st Eric will turn 32. He knows not how deeply my affection runs for him or how his simple presence provides vital nourishment to both the lives of myself and Max.

Eric, unlike myself is a constant ray of sunshine (me, not a ray of sunshine!?! Who would have thought!!!) There isn’t always a reason behind his smile, as many times it just appears. He’s never pessimistic, always optimistic. His passive nature never gives way to aggression– always looking towards the good never the bad, professional, courageous and forgiving–he is my complete opposite and he is the link that connects our world.

He is the essence of success—someone I add to my small list of those that impress, encourage and make me strive towards my ultimate goals. Though not often spoken, I trust that he believes in me and all my ambitious the way I have and continue to believe in his. He is indeed a precious gift from God and at times when I try to negotiate an exchange without the receipt, God quickly reminds me there isn’t another on the market of his quality.

When fear and heartache cause me to fold, he quickly takes control to pilot the plane. When he’s folded and is consumed with distractions I pilot alone ensuring he is the safest passenger on my plane. It’s the perfect mixture to a kick ass marriage, bond and friendship. It’s not fake-it’s real, it’s functional, it’s true. Yeah, he gets on my damn nerves and at times I’d like nothing more than to knock that smile right off his face, but hey who doesn’t have those moments! (Assault on an Officer? Perhaps) regardless I wouldn’t have it any other way because with one glance- he knows, with my entrance into a room- he’s picked it up and with the beginning of a conversation he can tell you just how “she” (me) is going to end it.

I know what I’ve got in Mr. Officer and I hope other’s quickly figure it out. I hope they know what a hero he is (true sense of the word- though he’d never tell you that) I hope they know what an absolute precious gem they have in their collection—the glow from this gem as been hidden by the cover of a rock for many years, however now there’s no denying it’s radiant beauty. You deserve the best, the most and a big ol cold beer (accompanied by a couple of shots)

My Officer, my Eric, my husband, my partner in parenting and functional crime — I love you with all my heart and a couple glasses of wine. You are a hero to me, your son and those you’ve answered the call for. We are willing to share your greatness with the world as long as they shape up and realize that is standing in front of them. Love you forever (or until the next time you piss me off) Happy (early) Birthday.

Reason # 2,265

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There are million in one reasons why I love Max and here is one of them. Tonight as Mr. Officer was heading out for work he half ass kissed me. I asked him if the thought he was promised tomorrow and if that‘s the way he wanted our last kiss to go. I mean,  let’s just be honest cops are dropin like fly’s these days folks. He re-kissed me. Max started laughing and screamed Nasty!!! I swear, he is totally without a doubt 100% my kid—hands down!

These are the moments I wish to remember forever.

Here we are plotting our next disaster.

Magical moments & hot coffee

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This weekend the weather was incredible. We found ourselves outside all weekend long-what a pleasure it was. I tell ya, there’s nothing better for the soul than some sunshine—it took me becoming a mother to realize that. Before I had Max you couldn’t pay me to spend any time in the outdoors- hell no, there were way to many malls for that.

For starters Saturday morning Max didn’t wake up til 9am. Yes, that’s right 9am. And you know what that means right? It means for the first time since that child was born (3 years) ago I got to drink my coffee while it was still hot! Score!!!!!!!!! It was almost eerie sitting on the couch in the silent living room with the laptop and hot cup of coffee (ah yes, this must be what Heaven is like) It was indeed magical. I knew right then and there it was going to be a good day.

  Shortly after Max woke up and we all got dressed and out the door we headed to Kemah. Which brings me to another question. Why the hell am I able to get myself (including hair and make up which if you’ve ever seen me you know isn’t much) and a 3-year-old ready and out the door quicker than my husband can seem to get himself together. I mean HELLO!!!

 Back to  Kemah,  ah yes this is where Max discovered his love for huge boats filled with beautiful skinny girls in swimsuits and blaring music (wait, maybe that was Mr. Officer) never the less the excitement on his face as they sailed by was contiguous. Best moment of the weekend? Well of course it was the long island ice tea’s. That bartender was on point! I’d have no problem recommending him for an immediate merit increase—bring on his boss. No but really, watching Max go insane over the boats was a joy. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen his eyes light up like that before it was truly magically to say the least.  

Don’t worry, I won’t ruin this “magical”  post with my bitching about how my washing machine left me with a big fuck you—-I’ll save that for another one!

Here are some of the “magically’ moments I was able to capture:

How was your weekend?  Any kid inspired magically moments?

Can I get a minute!!

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    You know, I totally took using the restroom in peace for granted.

While I was pregnant with Max someone told me, after becoming a mother you’ll never do anything alone anymore. Shit, she wasn’t lying.

 My little slave driver (cause trust me, that’s what he is) is completely obsessed with poop. That’s right obsessed and it doesn’t matter what or who it’s from, if it’s poop it’s freaking awesome!

 Warning;  this post is for sure TMI

 About 2 months ago I started a new antidepressant (yes, another one- they just can’t seem to get it right) and the side effect are as follows; nausea and or vomiting with diarrhea. Sweet, like I have time for either of the two.

 Of course 45 mins after my first pill I found myself in the restroom nauseated and yup you guessed it pooping! Now, if you live with a toddler you know damn well there is nothing that can keep them out of a room they want in unless it’s dead bolted.   Right on queue, the bathroom door swings open and my little whirl wind of energy enters.

 Max: momma what you doing?

Me: Momma’s using the potty. Go in the living room, ok.

Max: No I stay. What you doing? You have poop?

Me: (with a switched up face from stomach cramps) Yes Max momma’s tummy hurts- I don’t feel good. Go play I’ll be out in a min

Max; Oh you tummy hurt.

Ok, by this time I’m completely ready for my head to start spending like the exorcist  and to scream insanely I SAID GET OUT!!

Instead I screamed for Eric.

Max; (comes closer to me and tries to pull me off the toilet) momma get up get up I want to see the big one

Me: What? Max stop. ERRRIIIICCCC!!!!

(Eric enters the restroom)

Me: Can you take care of him please? The med’s made me sick, I just need a minute.

Max and Eric leave the restroom shutting the door behind them.

Under my breath I mutter; shit all I want to do is use the restroom that’s all, just use the fucking restroom…I can’t even poop in peace.

 Then I remembered what that lady had told me, “Once you become a mom, you’ll never do anything alone.”  Who would have thought pooping alone would have become such a big ordeal.

 I think it’s time to invest in a dead bolt for the bathroom.

You bet your ass I’m Mom Enough!

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So by now we’ve all seen that awesome TIME Magazine cover asking Are You Mom Enough? and I’m sure you’ve read the article.

The article got me thinking (and fuming) So I asked myself, Kasey why do you think you’re mom enough?  I mean according to the article you’re lacking some “mom enough” credentials .

I am Mom Enough….

Because I love my child unconditionally

Because I put my child’s mental, emotional, and physical health before that of any other.

Because I think as and for my 3-year-old.

Because I listen to what my child says

Because I shelter and protect my child

Because I am raising him up in the ways of the Lord.

Because I sacrifice for my child

Because I advocate for my child

Because I make deposits into his emotional bank-never with draws

Because I dance insanely around the living room

Because I sit on the living room floor build the tallest Lego towers ever

Because I lay in bed with him and watch freaking Diego over and over

Because I play in the sandbox when I want to sit on the couch.

Because I have rules and I enforce them.

Because no one is more important than my child

Because I finger paint with my toes instead of my fingers (only b/c he thinks it feels cool)

Because I am involved with his day-care and teachers as much as possible

Because I am finishing my education for my child

Because I go to work everyday for my child

Because I take care of my own mental health, for my child

Because I practice, patience, love and understanding with my child

Because I nurse my child back to health when he is ill

Because the things that are important to my child are important to me

Because I can operate of 4 hours of sleep if that’s all my baby willing to give me (and for a year, that’s all he gave)

Because I have seen myself evolve into this person I never knew existed

Because I know the most important title I will ever hold will never be as important as the title I already have, mom.

So yes, Time Magazine I am mom enough and I thank you for making me realize.

                                              And no, I DIDN’T BREASTFEED

                                             And yes, I WORK OUTSIDE OF THE HOME!

　

　

　

　

　

　

Anywhere but daycare!!

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For the past 2 weeks this is how our morning ride has gone (pour yourself a drink—go ahead I’ll wait)…..

 I turn down the street heading towards Max’s school and without it even being in sight yet I hear from the back seat.

 I don’t want to go to school Momma!

Me: why don’t you want to go?

Max: Because I sleepy

Me: That’s ok.  Momma’s sleepy too. Once you start playing you’ll wake up and be happy your there.

Max: NO I DON’T WANT TO GO

(Once again)

Me: Why Max?

Max: Because I want to go with you.

The conversation goes on and on. I’m sure you can complete it-  it’s the same one you’ve had with your toddler from time to time.

 So, being the intuitive someone is doin my baby wrong momma that am I (and I wouldn’t always say that’s a good thing) when I noticed the behavior as being constant or shall we say lasting longer than I’m comfortable with I started to dig.

Me: Max is anyone at school being mean to you?

Max: Yes, Tristan. (Tristan is Max’s best bud at school, he’s a rowdy boy, pushy sometimes I’m sure enough not to make Max want to go to day-care…I’m thinking not)

Never the less I spoke with his teacher about it. I asked if everything seemed ok, if  Max’s behavior during the day had changed any, if she was having any behavioral issues, being put in time out, not listening, not keeping his hands to him self or if another child by chance was acting poorly towards Max. The response I received from all 3 teachers was unanimous. “No, he’s doing great. Haven’t noticed anything different, he’s the same ol Max.”    You should have seen the look on some of their faces as I was interrogating I mean asking them questions. You would have thought they were giving a sworn statement. I felt like saying, don’t be scared it’s to be expected when you’re taking care of my kid! I mean do none of these other mom’s ask questions like this!!!

 One of the teachers, and my favorite I must add. Thought that maybe he was having some separation anxiety.  Yes, of course its makes perfect sense and honestly when this all started about a week ago that was my first thought. I couldn’t  remember reading anything about the separation anxiety creeping up in children over the age of 18 months off the top of my head.  However, after diving into it I was shocked to find, it’s not that uncommon for the older tot’s to go through such anxiety up to through the age of 4.

It’s so remarkable how their little minds work. I can sit here and say that he is well aware that every single day when I leave he knows without a doubt I’m coming back for him.   But,  in reality his little mind has trouble grasping this concept as he sees me walking out the door.  It’s such a heart wrenching way to start your morning. And even though I know after I’m gone he’s fine within minutes, I’d be lying if I said within minutes of me driving away I’m fine.  Separation Anxiety, it blows.