It’s official, Max is a big big boy. He recently turned three. We had his birthday party this weekend. It turned out great, I couldn’t have dreamed it any better. The weather was outstanding, not too hot, not to windy The kids had an amazing time.
What an odd feeling it was to sit there and see how big he has gotten. I do believe it’s true when you taken a moment to blink you just might miss something. Sitting there watching him I was thinking about our first hours home from the hospital after family left and it was just us. Mr. Officer and I sat on the couch with Max in between us watching Boyz in the Hood. Yes, you read right- I said, Boyz in the Hood. I mean hell, I think I was in a state of shock, we could have been watching a Turkish program and I probably wouldn’t have cared. All I could think about was am I going to be able to do this? is he going to be able to do this? Saturday watching Max play I muttered under my breath we made it. I made it- He made it- we’re survivors! Dramatic I know, but when it comes to birthdays I’m emotionally dramatic and rightfully so, we’ve been so blessed to have a healthy baby boy- it’s one of the things I give praise for daily and below is why:
I read on-line last night were a friend of a friend lost her baby boy to cancer at 5am on 4/25/12. My heart was heavy. I couldn’t fight the tears and headed to the rest-room to cry without startling Max. I couldn’t catch my breath and felt like I was going to vomit. That could have been us. That could have been Max. That poor mother, I couldn’t manage to gather the words to say a pray for strength and comfort for this lady I’d never met. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know her name or anyone in her family, what mattered is her and I have a connection, we’re mothers and this morning she didn’t have his sweet face to look at and that was almost more than I could bear to handle . As I write this my heart is aching with pain and I’m fighting back tears. I want nothing more than to reach inside her chest, pull out that tremulously terrible pain, put it in a glass bottle, seal it and throw the mother fucker as far as I can. I don’t want her or anyone else to have to suffer at the hands of this unshakeable pain. I give thanks that her sweet baby boy is no longer crying in pain, but instead playing with the most amazing toys in Heaven. If there was one thing I could say to this mom it would be this…He deserves this amazing life that he now has. He deserves the best and mom it doesn’t get any better than Heaven. You’ve done well now lean into the Lord and allow him to carry you through.
I have read that donations for this family can be made at mccowen.net if you are in the position where a donation would be possible I would ask that you consider being a blessing. You can also find out more information through the fb page the family has set up
Brennan lost his fight with Neuroblastoma. To read more of Brennan’s story please visit
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Brennan-Scurlock/214491795231031
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I don’t typically post information like this, but was so overwhelmed by this family’s story that I couldn’t hold back.
Take some time out and give praise for your healthy children today, because health is something that is all too often taken for granted.
It is so sad. I can hardly think of the pain, it is so overwhelming to consider, so impossible. It is terrifying to me, I am constantly worried and praying that my family avoids that terrible fate. A friend of mine just lost her mom to cancer yesterday, she was so young, in her 40s. Obviously very different than losing a child, but the pain and anger is still immense. I hurt for her, but am afraid to think too deeply about her suffering because it overcomes me and I can’t stop obsessing and crying about it. It makes me feel selfish and callous. There is nothing good to come of that kind of death, nothing at all. It is terrible.
So very sad and terrible, I know. I’m so sorry to hear about your friends loss. I can’t begin to imagine the pain.