Perfectly imperfect momma

This is my week people not that you asked, but I couldn’t think of anything else to write about and I’m just dying to write. Don’t you hate when that happens? It’s like I go blank at least two weeks out of month. I hate it.

This week despite being slow at work, it’s really moved along quite quickly. Today I’m home with a sick Max. He started throwing up (lovely) at day-care yesterday, later that afternoon he started running a fever. At this point, I’m thinking its viral and hoping it passes quickly because the smell of vomit makes me want to run far, far away! The good news is I got to drink my coffee while it was still hot: SCORE! And he seems to holding down food and liquid: RAD!

So Monday I got my numbers back on my liver (can’t remember if I wrote about this or not so I’ll keep it short) they were back in the normal range. Praise God—that night I celebrated with vodka. Oh man, it had been a long time without a vodka tonic—a looong time. But, not to fear, momma’s back in business. The funny and almost embarrassing part? My taste for them as seemed to dissipate and at this point I’d rather have a glass of wine than straight liquor—so much for my gansta status. Oh I also found out on Monday that my kid was a hider (I think that was the last post I did) it seems as though he thinks it’s funny to give his teacher a heart attack. Such the prankster, he is.

Ever have one of those days where you just fuck off and say screw the mommy duties? That was Tuesday. Thanks to my laziness and premenstrual depression I came home from work and did nothing, but cook dinner. I then sat my ass on the couch drank my vodka and watched Max play- until he wasn’t having that anymore and drug me down on the floor with him.

This meant Wednesday I was completely screwed because I had to do all the mommy duties from the day before plus the ones from the current day, yeah; ALL of them. You know what they are; cook, clean the kitchen, clean the living room, do the laundry, clean the bedrooms, give a bath, take a shower, do play time, clean the bathroom, fold and put away the laundry—kill me now will ya! I did it all, but fold and put away the laundry. There’s something about doing laundry that I just can’t get with. I like for it to stay on it’s side of the house while I stay on the other and hope that it will somehow put itself away.

Wednesday before making it home and doing all the mommy duties I had a doctors’ appointment.

Bladder infection it is—how pleasant is that? I walked away with antibiotics and the advice to stay away from coffee and alcohol until the antibiotics were finished. Uhh- yeah, ok! (as I sip on my HOT coffee)

Thursday on the way to work I vowed to have more sex. Yes, I did. You know once you have kids having sex tends to wind up on the back burner—at least it did for me. I mean who the hell has time for it anyway? When Max is asleep all I want to do is crash out next to him not have some romantic, ruche rondevu. My poor Officer-lucky for me he’s understanding. Look, I’m not saying he’s totally deprived (don’t feel sorry for him) we do have sex at least once a week (which in my book when you have a toddler is plenty) but I do understand that perhaps I need to put forth just a little more effort in that category (of course he’d never say anything—because he’s smart) but I’m not stupid. I know the areas in which I excel and am lacking. And I also know I’m not the only mommy with this issue. We’re just too damn tired!

Sex is over-rated anyway, but don’t try to tell a man that!  (holla if you hear me) So with that vow in mind you’ll be happy to know I did keep my promise last-night—yes that right Momma will prevail, I will return, I’m down and enrolled for the sex Olympics people (I’m totally delusional) let’s see how long I can keep this up.

So that brings us up to today, Friday Happy day. Normally, I’d be happy about Friday because it’s returned as my date night, but since the little guy is sick instead of being at work and thinking about my endless glasses of wine or beer I’m sitting on the couch watching the back of this Mickey Mouse underwear run crazy all over the house as he tries his best to step over the leggos he’s strewed all over the living room floor. Ahh, the house of a toddler, it’s one of a kind. Think I’ll be lucky enough to nap today? Nah. That sounds too much like prefect!

Happy Friday and Happy parenting—have a couple glasses of wine for your girl will ya?