Perfectly imperfect momma

This post is random, containing a little of this and a little of that—hell, a little of everything. There, that’s your warning good luck making it through the whole thing, y’all.

Yesterday I learned taking the wrong antibiotic can give you some pretty shitty symptoms, like symptoms of a stomach virus. That’s right. It seems as if my sweet boy didn’t share his stomach virus with me after all, instead I was having some pretty ratched side effects from the antibiotic prescribed by my doctor of a UTI. They are now in the process of changing it, only after I’ve walked around half dead for the past week. Always research your meds peeps, always.

Here’s something else I learned, if you take a class of three-year olds M&M cookies, they will only pick out and eat the M&M- not the actual cookie. Also, according to Max’s teacher he as requested that she refer to him only as Spiderman, I guess he’s still searching for a way to obtain those super powers. My thoughts? Spiderman is better than pimp.  I’m sure that one’s coming though. Anytime I ask the Officer anything his reply is, “Because I’m a pimp” (yeah, I know)

Do yourself a favor- stay away from the energy drinks when you’re nauseated, there’s no need for Red Bull wings while gagging at the toilet, really and you’re welcome.

This morning while waking up the devil child he thought it would be a good idea to punch me in the arm. Yeah, he gathered up enough toddler balls to softly punch me. Where in the hell did that “great “idea come from? I’m telling you, he’s a different kid in the mornings. I stood up from the bed, looked at him and calmly said, “What did you just do?” He looked up sleepy-eyed and quickly said, “Sorry Momma. Just give me a minute.” I forgave him. It was obvious to me it was a moment of complete fucking insane due to sleepiness. The rest of the morning he was an angel, go figure.

Speaking of punching, yesterday as I was driving to pick up Max the Officer sent me a text message explain that some shitty ass citizen (my words, not his) punched him in the face the night before during an attempted arrest. He was later tazed (which isn’t good enough for me) of course I wanted his face blown off point fucking blank for touching something that belongs to me, someone who is just doing his job attempting to make a decent (and it’s not decent )living  for his family. I mean, just what the fuck is wrong with the people in this world today?

What the hell makes one think its ok to put their hands on anyone, little alone a Police Officer—A Police Officer that is MINE. If there’s something I struggle with its possession and protection. I don’t like people fucking with what’s mine, I don’t like them disrespected. I get it, he’s a cop he’s going to be disrespect all day-everyday, but putting your hands on him to cause him physical harm is a whole different ball game, one you my dear aren’t ready to fucking play. Batter up bitch- I just hope the loser once out of jail finds his way over to my place—my protected little castle while daddy’s’ out patrolin’ because guess what? I’m not restricted by a badge, nope, no sir. There’s one thing worse than a pissed off wife and that’s a pissed off Police Wife! Yes, I’m a crazed mother and wife- don’t you wish I was yours?

 And while I’m on my kick I’ll tell you something else I’m quite sick of. I’m sick of people forgetting and or not caring just how dangerous an officer’s job is. They put on a bullet proof vest every day before walking out the door. Do people think that’s for fun? Watch the news Cops are dropin’ like flies, y’all. It never sinks in until it’s too late—(glad that won’t be the story of my life, will it be yours?)

Moving forward…

Fall is approaching and quickly, I heard on the news that Saturday will be the first official day of fall and I couldn’t be more excited (kind of bi-polar from the previous paragraph huh?) The forecast is calling for somewhat of a cool front (if you can call it that) what better way to welcome in the new season!

 Last year in my fall post I compared the season to Xanax for your soul and it’s so true. The colors, the smells, the sights, your sense are completely captivated during this time. I need nothing more than an afternoon outside during the fall to cure any anxiety spell the toddler may be giving me. So, why not give up the Xanax for fall then? Yeah, I don’t think so smart ass.

Fall means Halloween and Halloween means costumes, I LOVE watching Max pick out his costume. Last year in my costume post I talked about him choosing a Batman costume only to later be scared of it. We went back and got Woody from Toy Story. I must say, he was the cutest damn Woody I’ve ever seen. Hopefully this year he’ll stick with the one he picks and we won’t have to go back for a second. I have it feeling it just might be Spiderman.

The Officer plans on taking off this Halloween. He worked last year and missed Max’s first year to hand out candy. He and I had a great time sitting in the drive way looking at all the costumes and hand out candy. This year we might do a fall festival, a pumpkin patch or something festive, I think he’d like that—my social anxiety, now that’s a whole different ball game which is why I chose to keep the Xanax on hand, even during fall.

Happy Parenting y’all.  What are your plans for fall?