It’s Thursday. I’m in a mood. A don’t talk, look or touch me kind of mood. A lock yourself in the restroom to get away from everyone kind of mood. A get your ass back in bed and try this again kind of mood. I’m in a mood and I’m at work. Not such a good combination.
The monster was driving me crazy this morning. He’s gotten into the habit of not listening (go figure, he’s 3)- do any of them listen?
Mornings with a toddler make me wanna shoot myself. Motherly, I know. But it’s the truth and it’s what I speak.
As I was folding clothes last night listening to the Monster scream, “here I come to save the day” as he jumped off the couch with his super man cape on I thought about all the ways I’m a terrible mother. Sure, there are 100 ways that I’m a fan-fucking-tastic mother, but we hardly ever think about those. Instead, we’re bombarded by the lingering thoughts that we’re doing everything completely wrong and inefficiently.
Reasons why I’m a bad mom (According to most parenting magazines and society)
First, My kid will be 4 in April and still takes a bottle to bed. Only to bed.
What? I’m not going to rip away his comfort and security. Screw you world!
Second, My kid sleeps in the bed with me. (There you go, enough said.)
I’ve already broken the two cardinal parenting rules according to most moms.
Third, He’s not in Sunday School regularly.
The Officer works on Sunday and we go to an enormously huge church. I don’t like to go alone- anxieties.
Fourth, I use time outs instead of spankings. They seem to be more effective at this age.
Don’t give me that shit about spank now and keep them out of jail later. Bullshit!
Fifth, I don’t interact “play time” half as much as I should.
Sorry kid Momma just doesn’t like to play cars regardless of how beneficial it is for development.
Sixth, I give baths every other night
(unless he has played outside.)
Seventh, I don’t think my kid even knows what vegetables are.
Do potatoes count?
Eighth, I hate being a mother Monday-Friday.
Only because I have to wake him up at 6:15 every morning for day-care and run a tight schedule. Waking him up in the mornings is like waking a demon. Simply put, Mornings as a mom suck.
Ninth, I don’t immediately correct my kid to when he’s throwing a fit.
He’s 3, throwing fits is what he’s suppose to fucking do, it’s how they communicate their frustrations. Get over it.
And the tenth reason why I’m a bad mom, though this one isn’t by any fault of mine, he’s my kid and I must assume responsibility for it. He says G–Damnit!!!
I swear he got it from one of those little shits at day-care, no really, I’m serious I don’t use colorful language like that around him for those exact reasons!
I don’t honestly think the reasons listed above make me a bad mom, but I would be a liar if I said they didn’t linger in my mind from time to time and make me question my parenting style and all it entails. Sure, in the large spectrum of parenting they are all just simple matters so why has society made them out to be a huge parenting ordeal? Perhaps because they’d rather concentrate of what looks best instead of what works best for their kid? I don’t know. All I do know for certain about this journey of Motherhood is that it’s a learning experience. And (yes, I started a sentence with and) that no matter how much you run you can’t hide because they’ll find you every time- they’re like drug sniffing dogs. Able to sniff out their mother in the most creative of hiding spots. (Not saying I’ve tried or anything)